What in the Heck? Black Man

I’ve been speaking with a lot of women in their late forties to fifties and I’m hearing the most truth.

Men our age have resorted back to the games and nonsense played in their twenties, with the exception of one non-working asset. If you know what I mean.

Sitting around as if they don’t get it. Speaking nonsense such as; were just friends right now, We’re just talking, we’re not dating or in a relationship yet. Guys your outlook on women and relationships is sad.

Here’s what I’ve experienced since I’ve been dating (I need to add that I am very selective in the men I date, wisdom, intellect and well spoken with confidence are the qualities which I am drawn).

Scenario:

Man sees woman, woman sees man and there’s a physical attraction. Man approaches woman, they exchange phone numbers, they talk/text he asks her on a date. Man and woman goes on a date. Man and woman likes the conversation, the attraction is there. They want to see more of each other to see if they are compatible………….

This is where the confusion and nonsense begin.

Man and woman talk and text almost daily, getting to know each other.

Here’s the Woman’s mindset:

I’ll relax and see where this goes. Woman’s attention is on seeing if this person is a match. If she’s anything like me she slows down on seeing and talking to other men. Not that she’s taking herself off the market. But she likes this guy and want to get to know him. Plus she just doesn’t want to spread herself to thinly.

SHE’S SEEING IF THIS PERSON IS A MATCH.

Man’s mindset: He makes this point clear from the beginning. “We’re just chilling, getting to know each other” he’s got an exit strategy already in mind. One foot in the door before you get to know each other.

(Just a reminder: What women are hearing in plain English “we’re getting to know each other”).

But men define getting to know each other as: I really like you and I wanna get to know you. I’m sexually attracted to you. But in the process, I also want to meet and talk to other women, get to know them, have sex with them and take them on dates while I’m getting to know you.

So let’s play Scrabble “put all of you in a bag and shake.

But here’s the catch, the part that throws me completely off my rocker…..

Woman says okay I understand “we are just chilling, getting to know each other” so woman goes on dates with other guys also. If she chooses, have sex with other guys. She doesn’t know where Man is going with this so she continues on her journey until he makes up his mind.

Guess what happens?

Man says to woman; you’re crazy, you’re playing games. She’s labeled as a whore. He stops talking to her.

He’s unhappy with how she is “just chilling, “just friends” and “just getting to know him.”

I am so over that nonsense. No wonder there are so many beautiful Black Women who have made the choice to stop dating. Choosing to enjoy life single or have made the choice to date older men who have not lost the knowledge of how to be a gentleman. I’m finding that single men in their sixties who are still living an active life, are the way to go. They still have a chivalrous edge. The respect is different, they even flirt with a little more respect.

Fellas, get your stuff together because the Good Women who truly do know how to treat a man are tired and are also looking for an exit strategy. As much as I love and respect Black men. I just cannot play these games. I’m in the prime of my life. I’ve raised my children. I have my own money. All I ask of you is your truth. Be real, no games.

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My choice, my happiness

My life is not the life I cultivated it to be some choices I made were not the best choices. But this day I make the choice to be happy.

Do you know how hard it is to constantly struggle to be happy rather than just being happy on purpose.

Bad things happen, life doesn’t go the way you plan it. God is in control of all. God gave me “free will” I am only allowed to choose for myself. In choosing for myself I know that each choice has an action and a consequence good or bad I must accept and continue to move forward and be okay with my choices. Sometimes I get stuck in the consequences because I try to control the results. That’s when I know that my mind, heart and soul-spirit are not connected and all three must be in agreement for true happiness.

The mind alone wanders, the heart alone seek pleasure but the soul which is your direct connection to God is your driver. The soul tells you the truth and will not steer you wrong, but all three must connect for God to work within you. So I pray and strive everyday for that connection, that peace and the happiness it brings……..live well

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